Today I couldn’t get my daughter motivated to get out the door to school. It was most annoying. All she wanted to do was potter around in her room. I gave her a couple of reminders but she just kept on mucking around.
At just before 8am I went into her room and started to get firm with her by saying, “we are leaving for school in fifteen minutes from now”. Then I walked away and left her to get herself organized as she knows how to do.
At 8.15am she came out of her room and started running around as if her life depended on it. I was just about to leave for work so I said to her calmly, “what a pity you won’t have time for breakfast this morning” and walked to the car in the garage. Becky was horrified but as she needed a lift to school came running pretty quickly when she realized that I wasn’t joking.
I drove her to school and there was not much conversation. I stopped at the gate, she got out and that was about all. Becky seemed to be testing me this morning to see if I would stick to my boundaries. I think she found out the answer to that one. Poor Becky had to go hungry until morning break as she hadn’t eaten any breakfast.
Sometimes I find that my kids try to control me by being stubborn in a certain area. This morning it was Becky in not wanting to get ready for school. She now knows that if she makes bad choices in the morning and isn’t ready to go on time, I will not wait for her. What a valuable lesson for her to learn.
I know this seems harsh but I had to go to work this morning and I could not have Becky holding me up. She also has a responsibility to the school to arrive on time. And when she is late I leave it up to the school to give her a consequence.
Now here’s what we must remember: we need to stop rescuing our kids and let them learn things the hard way sometimes. I understand this is not always a pleasant thing but it is a necessary thing. The more we rescue our kids the more they will expect it. Remember our job as a parent is to make sure that our kids are equipped for adult life.
The end result? It didn’t annoy me but inconvenienced her. She had to go hungry for most of the morning. I wouldn’t mind betting that she won’t do that again in a hurry. Why? Because she was allowed to suffer the consequences of her actions.
I know this can be a hard thing for parents as we all love our kids and want the best for them. But sometimes the best thing for our kids is to allow them to make a mistake so that they can learn from it. When kids learn from trial and error they will thank you later on in life.
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