What To Do To Help Children Not To Fight
My boys had a punch up today. There you go, I said it. Now you know that my kids are not perfect. But remember, we can’t always control what our kids say or do. But we sure can control our reactions to it.
This particular day I was busy in the study when I heard some bad language. Now bad language is forbidden at our house. So I went to investigate and find out what was going on. Out in the lounge I found my three boys all on top of each other in a fight. Now I have to say, if you have girls you probably can’t understand this. But boys like to fight. Or at least, my boys wanted to fight today.
One of them was choking another boy so I helped them apart. I tried to figure out how I would deal with this fighting.I sent the boys to their bedrooms and tried to make sense of what had happened.
I put the boys in their rooms and talked to each of them about what had happened. And, of course, I was given three different versions. Now why am I not surprised?
It was really bad timing for the boys as they had just organized for a friend to sleep over because it was school holidays. I told the boys that they would have to ring back their friend and cancel the sleepover on account of their violent episode. Then I went out for an hour, leaving them at home.
I hoped that my kids would take the opportunity to do something to earn back their sleepovers. I just gave them the opportunity to surprise me and give me just cause to reinstate their privilege that had just been taken from them.
When I arrived home with my groceries I had a pleasant surprise. One of my kids was washing up the dishes, another was cleaning in the bathroom. The third boy was busy in the lounge tidying up. YES! My plan had worked.
Now I had every right to stick to my guns and say no sleepover. And it is OK to do just that. But I also love to extend grace to my kids whenever I can and show them that they can always lessen a consequence. You know, even people in jail get time off for good behavior. We need to remember that it is our job to train up our children in all things but still keep our relationship with them intact. Always look for opportunities top extend grace to your children. They will thank you for it later on in life.
I sat the kids down and we had a chat. Everyone apologized to each other and we discussed how we could have dealt with the issue another way and still had a good outcome. The end result? The kids still got their sleepover. Mum extended grace to them this time. And the kids know that next time, the penalty will be more severe.
